yoga broke my heart

As many of you know, the past few weeks there has been a lot of talk of me going to India for a yoga program that I got into. Well... it is not going to happen due to, might I say, dumb people. I had been inquiring about this program for about the last 3 weeks or so. I had filled out my application, got accepted, received news letters, and other emails informing me on what the program would be like, how much it cost, where I was supposed to fly into, etc. I had written at least 17 emails, setting everything up. I wrote 3 emails telling the woman, whom I had been conversing with, that I was ready to pay whenever (you had to pay 25% of the fee in order to hold your place). The woman emailed me back telling me that she had put me on the enrolled list and that she would send me what I needed to do the money transfer in the morning. Five days later, nothing, so I called via skype. The man said that I was not on the enrolled list because I hadn't paid and now there was a wait for the program, the program that I had signed up for practically before it was even posted. I repeatedly told him that I had been told that I was enrolled by "X" she is the one that has been emailing me. He said he'd talk to her to try and straighten things out. A few hours later I received another email from "X" saying that she wasn't sure I was going to do the program and that they could put me on the wait list.
This email was a blow. I burst into tears like I had just recieved an email stating that my boyfriend was breaking up with me. I don't think I have ever been so excited and put so much effort into doing something in my entire life. I was going to go to India to study yoga, the one thing, besides people and animals, that I love. I was ready to go. I was going to stay in Chaing Mai, Thailand for about 2 weeks by myself, take yoga classes, swim, shop, and hangout until my program, when I then would fly to Delhi. I had bought an extra long sleeve shirt for the mountains, I was in search of a yoga mat, and pants. I was literally ready for take off. Steve was ready to head to Laos tomorrow and continue his travels. We went and had a nice dinner, thinking that we wouldn't see eachother for a month and a half. Although, of course, I would miss steve, I was so excited to be on my own. I had my little daily routine planned for my two weeks in Chaing Mai. I was ready to go and have my ass kicked my a yoga guru.
I'm trying to come to grips with the fact that I am not going, but Himalaya Valley Yoga, broke my heart. I could have went with Steve this evening to see some Muy Tai kick boxing, but instead I'm acting like a big baby hidding in my room, not ready to face the world. Perhaps, I am being a bit melow-dramatic, but I can't say enough how much I wanted to do this.
I'm putting faith into the ol saying, "everything happens for a reason." Now, I can continue my travels with the great squiggly (yes, dave, he is squiggly) stephen. Tomorrow, I get to see my dear friend Kaylee from Australia. I will now still be able to do the famous float down a river and stop at bars to drink, in Laos. I will save a few thousand dollars, and I can still take yoga classes wherever the wind blows me.